KERRY'S POETRY KORNER


NORTH CAROLINA -- 1971

The waves strain gently for my feet, but cannot reach
Where I sit above them on the pier.
Failing, tamed by many miles of sandbars,
the ocean discards them sadly on the beach,
Where they recoil, to try yet once again.
Ceaselessly to try again, again, again.

Such pitiful strivings, such futile little ripples,
Not at all like their powerful predecessors out at sea,
Crashing onto rocky shores and bursting in rainbows
From the sharp bows of ocean liners.

Watching them, I feel the old familiar pain.

Twenty years ago I first was here. In childhood's distant haze,
A foggy picture of the sharp seagrass and windy, shining days.
I look around and almost I can see myself run from the cottage door,
Letting the screen slam shut behind me, heading down the shore.
I half can see my mother, her silver hair once more dark and shining
As she sits in the morning sun.

The picture fades, down dim and misty years.
I have come ashore here now again,
Tamed by sandbars and beyond the driving force of wind and storm,
Once more to try to move the solid land.

Across the wasted, repetitious years, the tiny waves run in and out,
And cry to reach the ocean, deep and wide.
In my awakening heart, I feel the turning of the tide.




TIDES

My love is like the high tide,
And I a piece of driftwood, battered, cracked, and dry
From the scorching midday sun,
Lying with life's other flotsam on the shore.

I hear the waves calling to me, but cannot reach for them,
Until at last the rising tide touches my yearning soul.

I feel the water swirl around me, the sand beneath shifts a little,
And I am filled with hope that I may float.
With hope -- and fear, for I have listened for many days
To the crashing of the waves upon the rocks.
But I remember freedom in the past,
And would now risk the treachery of the shining sea.

At dead high tide, my life is lifted free,
And my soul, so dry and lifeless, feels fresh and light again.

Yet this tide, like all tides, must soon ebb,
And whether it takes me out across the ocean,
Or only shifts my position on the beach,
Still I will be grateful,
And glad for the tides of life.



IRONY

I shreiked
I screamed
I cried.

And no one heard.


As if I were in a vacuum
I cursed
And complained.

My words came back unheard.

No one wanted to hear.
They did not like what I said,
and would not hear.

So I took action!
Oh, they heard me then!
Had finally to admit that, yes,
I was serious, after all.

Ecstasy, glowing joy!
For I was acknowledged,
and they must listen.

And yet,
when she,
whom I loved above all else,
esteemed above the universe,
held infinitely precious,
and needed desperately,
Even when she
tried to speak,
to tell me that she loved me not,
I tried my level best not to hear.



DRAGONSLAYER

Sorry, Charlie. I'm not sitting around in my starched crinoline
Waiting for you to rescue me from the dragon.
I won't be waiting faithfully at home,
While you go out and conquer the world.

That image never fit me any better
Than the confining dresses I was forced to wear.

I'll leave that role to those who wish to play it,
For there are dragons which are mine to slay,
In search of fair maidens of my own.



ANGER


So like a crystal, spreading
Outward from a cold, hard center,
Ao anger, growing, glowing,
Spread to fill my soul.
Burning, like the sun,
Like napalm
Like the inside of a crematory furnace,
Burning with cold, and incandescent.
Fed by a million tiny insults
So small, so subtle, they could barely be felt,
Much less resisted.
Until the slightest touch
Might set off an explosion.

Anger, which turned me bright and incandescent.
Anger, which others could not understand,
And so they called me cold, unfeeling, selfish.
Anger, once turned upon myself,
Destroying like a cancer.
Anger, now turning outward.

I warn you, beware,
For now I know my enemies.



COMING OUT

From now on, to walk the path I should have chosen years ago.

To hide no more, whether from others or from myself.

To remember who I am, despite the definitions put upon me by others.

To embrace my sisters and brothers in joy, and in recognition of the hurt in our eyes.

Learning at last to live with myself, at last to learn to live with others.

From now on, to learn to survive.

From now on, to learn to laugh.

From now on, to learn to live.




FREE!!

My god, the door is open!
I'm free at last. Unbelievable!
I check myself over carefully
lest I have left an arm or leg
still caught in the trap.
No, a miracle, and I am whole.

A part of my mind, a piece of my heart
I must leave caged behind me,
but my soul is free.

Whether I still can move,
having been so long cramped in my prison,
is a thing I cannot know just yet.
But I will try,
For the walls that caged me in have fallen,
And I am me again.


LONELINESS


I am old friends with the Lady Loneliness.
We rode the same bus to school together those many years ago.
She kept me company when others were too busy.
Many a dark night, I wept upon her shoulder and was comforted.

Then for many years I had not seen her,
And sometimes missed her amongst the harried crowds that filled my life.

Now again, in the quiet hours of twilight, we are reunited,
Watching by the ocean as the water turns from blue to gray,
Dogs running free across the sandbars, chasing the ebbing tide,
Seagulls flying against the sunset-pink clouds.

Confidently, I take her hand and we walk the beach together.
And in the silver moonlight, we kiss and laugh in pain.



There Are Those

There are those who are not at home on the land,
Whose restless spirits would feel the moving deck beneath their feet,
And whose eyes would scan the empty blue horizon,
Rather than the myriad colors and scenes of the shore.

They feel the wind upon their faces,
And in their minds see billowing sails.
They smell the fresh scent of the crisp autumn breeze,
And their eyes hunger for sunlight on water,
Like a field of shimmering diamonds,
And are not soothed by waving fields of grain,
Or even the purple mountain's majesty.

And when someday they leave the sea behind,
And make their final home on solid ground,
Still will saltwater pulse within their hearts,
And their bones will rest uneasy in the earth,
Even as their restless spirits set out on that final voyage
Into the Cosmic Sea.



BECAUSE

Why?

Because the soft snow sinks quietly down to the earth;
Because the sun glistens on the ocean;
Because the fire burns brightly against the darkness;
Because the stars sparkle in the cold black void;
Because the clouds race across the sky;
Because you live and see these things,
And feel these things, and know these things.

I am no longer a child, but I have learned

That the child's age-old answer is the only true one.

Why? Because.




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